Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Cake

A reading from the Book of Armaments:

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Instructable

Yum yum yum yum yum.

It's spaetzle! And you should make it!

Spaetzle (my teacher's recipe, I think)

2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
2 eggs, slightly beaten
Water
Butter
Dry bread crumbs

Combine the flour and salt in a bowl. Add the eggs and stir lightly until it starts to come together a little.

The next part is approximate (sorry 'bout that)... To the flour and egg mixture, you'll add water until you get a dough that resembles a thick, viscous pancake batter. Just add water about 2 tbsp. at a time until it gets there. (I think I may have added about 1/4 cup of water, more or less.)

Let the batter/dough rest for a few minutes while you bring a large-ish pot of water to a boil. When you get a rolling boil, turn down the heat to a simmer.

Drop some batter in a colander and press the batter through the colander with a spoon into the boiling water to make little bitty dumplings. Just be sure to not leave your colander sitting on top of the boiling pot for a long time, otherwise the batter will cook in the colander.

Let it boil for about 1 minute. Fish 'em out with a slotted spoon and set aside. (You can do this several hours or a day ahead of time; just shock the spaetzle in ice water, drain well, and keep in the fridge until you're ready to saute.)

Melt about 1/2 stick of butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. When very hot, add the spaetzle and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned, about 3 minutes. Add bread crumbs - however much you want - and stir until spaetzle are coated.

Hoard them.

My nachos. Nacho nachos. get it ?

Sometimes (read: every occasion), you just need nachos. My favorite: fat-free refried beans, lots of salsa, lots of cheese, and sour cream. Sometimes pintos. Occasionally beef. Rarely chicken.

Baked Potato Soup

Baked Potato Soup, originally uploaded by queenofthemoodswingset2.

Baked Potato Soup
variation of: www.bhg.com/recipe/soups/baked-potato-soup/
Ingredients

* 3 lbs potatoes
* one white onion chopped
* 3 cloves garlic
* 3 tablespoons butter
* 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
* 1 bay leaf
* ½ cup chopped parsley
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
* 4 cups milk
* 1-1/4 cups shredded American cheese (5 ounces)
* 4 slices bacon, crisp-cooked, drained, and crumbled


Directions
1. Scrub potatoes with a vegetable brush; pat dry. Prick potatoes with a fork. Bake in a 425 degree F oven for 40 to 60 minutes or until tender; cool. Cut each potato lengthwise. Scoop out white portion of each potato. Break up any large pieces of potato. Discard potato skins.
2. In a large saucepan cook bacon. Put bacon on paper towels to drain. Cook onion and garlic in bacon grease over medium heat until tender. Stir in flour, parsley, salt, and pepper. Add milk and bay leaf. Cook and stir for 12 to 15 minutes or until thickened and bubbly. Add the potato and 1 cup of the cheese; stir until cheese melts.
3. Top each serving with the remaining 1/4 cup cheese, remaining 3 tablespoons green onion, and the bacon.
4. Makes 5 to 6 servings (5 1/2 cups)

Blueberry Cream Cheese Pound Cake

Simple and perfect and yum.

3 sticks softened butter
8 oz. softened cream cheese
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
1 tbsp. vanilla extract
3 cups flour
1 1/2 cups blueberries

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour a large bundt pan or tube pan.

Cream the butter, cream cheese, and sugar on high speed for at least 5 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, scraping the bowl when necessary; add the vanilla and beat for another 5 minutes. Stir in the flour, and gently fold in the blueberries.

Smooth the batter in the prepared pan, then pick up the pan and smack it straight down on the counter a few times to settle things. Bake for about 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours, or until a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan for 10 minutes before removing.

Sugar Cookie Aftermath

yum.

As-Yet-Unnamed Creamy Chicken Veggie Pasta Bake Thing

There are a few steps to this, and all of them are quick and simple:

1. Cook your chicken (or use leftovers or rotisserie chicken and omit this one)
2. Saute your veggies
3. Make your sauce (this is the most challenging, and it's really not challenging)
4. Cook your pasta
5. Make your topping (if you want to)

So here - joo need thees theens:

2ish cups cooked chicken, chopped or torn into large bite-sized pieces
1/2 lb. dried penne, cooked for about 5-7 minutes or until still quite firm

Veggies:
2 tbsp. olive oil or butter
1/2 red pepper, cut in 1-inch pieces
1/2 green pepper, cut in 1-inch pieces
1/2 medium zucchini, sliced in not-too-thin rounds
1/2 medium summer squash (use the fat end), sliced in not-too-thin rounds
4 oz (half a package) mushrooms, sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced

Mornay-ish sauce (yay, skoo recipes!)
3 tbsp. butter
2 tbsp. chopped onion
4 tbsp. flour
3 1/2 cups milk
1 bay leaf
1 tsp. dried thyme (optional.. I like it)
Salt and pepper
1 1/2 cups swiss cheese

Bread topping (optional):
2 cups fresh bread
6 basil leaves
1 clove garlic
3 tbsp. butter, melted
Salt

Saute your veggies:
In a large skillet, heat the fat over high heat until it's frighteningly hot. Throw in the red and green pepper; cook about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until they begin to char a little (it'll smoke; you'll be fine). Turn heat down to medium and add zucchini, squash, and mushrooms; cook, stirring occasionally, another 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook another minute; remove from heat and set aside.

Make the sauce:
Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook it without browning for about 2 minutes. Add the flour and cook another 2-3 minutes (add more flour if you need to; you want the mixture to look like wet sand). Whisk in the milk, bay leaf, and thyme, and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat, remove the bay leaf, stir in cheese, and season with salt and pepper (make it saltier than you're comfortable with; the salt in the sauce will also season your pasta and veggies).

Toss the veggies, chicken, and pasta with the sauce, and smooth into a 9x13 baking dish.

In a food proessor, grind the bread, basil, and garlic; toss with melted butter, and add salt to taste. Sprinkle over everything (yes, sprinkle it over EVERYTHING. Your dog, your spouse, your wallet. Like fairy dust).

Bake at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes, or until browned and bubbly. Serve with parmesan cheese, because everything's better with parmesan cheese.

Tandoori Chicken Recipe

Tandoori Chicken:


Tandoori Chicken Recipe, originally uploaded by queenofthemoodswingset2.

Tandoori Chicken
adapted from http://www.acommunaltable.com/tandoori-chicken-with-mango-curry-slaw/

This is spicy without being overpowering, if you want it hotter add more cayenne pepper and/or more jalapeno.

* 1 cup plain yogurt (regular or greek style)
* 4 cloves of garlic, minced and mashed to a paste with salt
* 1/2 jalapeno pepper, minced
* juice of 1/2 of a lemon
* 2 tsp. fresh, grated ginger
* 2 Tbsp. garam masala
* 2 tsp. tumeric
* ½ tsp cayenne pepper
* ½ tsp curry powder
* 4-5 drops red food coloring (optional)
* 8 chicken drumsticks, chicken thighs or 4 chicken breasts


Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients and stir to coat evenly with the marinade.
2. Refrigerate for a minimum of 30 minutes and up to 1 day.
3. Line a cookie sheet with foil. Spray a rack with cooking spray and place on top of the foil lined pan.
4. Remove the chicken from the marinade (leave the yogurt mixture on) and place on the rack.
5. Bake at 425* for 30-45 minutes (on convection if you have it) or until internal temperature reaches 165*. Turn the chicken once ½ way through the cooking time.



Garam Masala (if you can’t find it at the grocery store)

* 1 Tbsp. ground cumin
* 1 Tbsp. ground coriander
* 1 Tbsp. ground cardamon
* 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
* 1/2 tbsp. ground black pepper
* 1/2 tsp. ground cloves
* 1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg


Directions:

1. Combine all the spices in a small, airtight container.